What a great piece, Elicia! And I agree with your conclusion, the most common arguments I have had in every relationship I’ve had is typically I always think specialising is better but the GF thinks task sharing is. And it’s crazy being the amount of times I have heard male friends and female friends say they have similar arguments, with the men wanting to specialise and the women wanting to task share.

So, I think you are onto something there.

And interesting idea about men earning a little bit more than women creating more balance as well, due to gender norms.

If the earnings became wider, that balance would fall, but you could be right. A friend of mine got a wage increase and started earning a bit more than his wife, he told me that it made him feel more worthy of her, and less self-conscious that she might leave. He also said it was the first time he thought he might be good enough for her.

Such a mindset is common amongst men, or at least I’ve noticed that it is, maybe that does mean you are right, a man earning a little bit more may create a greater balance of power in a relationship i.e. due to men’s feelings of inadequacy if they don’t pull their weight with a higher income.

It really is a crazy world, and we really do have a long way to go to break the connection between earnings and relationships.