That's the common consensus, but I have a friend who works in domestic violence and she told me that that's exactly why men are increasingly becoming so vulnerable, because people actually think that.

Overall she told me that if you include low-level abuse, so use of violence and mental abuse but on a small scale, men are actually increasingly the most susceptible, mainly because we are teaching women to call out the behaviour but we are not teaching men to do the same when it is carried out by a woman. Worse than that, due to the belief that women are more susceptible men fear even more so than women admitting being victims of such abuse due to how it will affect their image, but also because they fear even more so than women that they won't be believed.

But also, women on the other hand are more likely to suffer severe violent abuse than men.

Do you see how when trying to argue one gender is worse off than another it just creates a pointless back-and-forth about who has it worse in each area?

For example, there are few countries on earth that presently stipulate that it is possible for a woman to rape a man, you have to have a penis by law to be a rapist even in places like the UK. Yet increasing evidence makes clear that there are high numbers of women raping men each year.

You may find this quote of interest:

And “a 2012 study using data from the U. S. Census Bureau’s nationally representative National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions found in a sample of 43,000 adults little difference in the sex of self-reported sexual perpetrators. Of those who affirmed that they had ‘ever forced someone to have sex with you against their will,’ 43.6 percent were female and 56.4 percent were male.”

The articles it comes from is very much worth a read as well:

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predator/503492/

Even if we go into the past, it is arguable that there were many men who were victims of abusive women, mainly because when it comes to relationships, it is the power dynamic in the relationship that defines it, and everyone knows that there are many relationships and have been many relationships where the women wear the pants. If the woman wearing the pants is an abuser, it doesn't matter what the law says about the place of men and women the outcome will be the same.

But again, talking about things from a gender-based perspective again turns it into a competition, who has it worse, men or women. Men are victims, women are victims, men are perpetrators, women are perpetrators. On and on it goes. It's a foolhardy endless cycle which gets us no place other than empowering the abusers of the world.

This is why it is so important to acknowledge that everyone as an individual in equal measure can be vulnerable to being abused by their partner, and only once we start acknowledging this can we have a hope of actually reducing the amount of abuse going on. That's why it's important to acknowledge that men are just as at risk as women, or preferably everyone is just as at risk as everyone, because when we do that, we escape the gender wars and instead turn it into a war against abusers.