My ex used to work in domestic violence and spent a lot of her career working in refuge centres with victims of domestic violence.

She told me that in her experience abuse happens in all directions, and she told me that what shocked her early on in her career, was how often it's the partner that seems by societal standards the less powerful that is the abuser. In most cases it's the other way, that should be noted, but not always by a long shot.

For example, she told me one of the most horrific cases she worked on was when a man in his 40s had got with a younger girl in her late 20s, and over a couple of years despite the fact that he was more wealthy and bigger, she frequently violently assaulted him.

He frequently would visit the refuge centre, and one night he came after having been glassed over the head, blood pouring everywhere. She told me that he told her that he was too embarrassed to tell any friends or family or even go to hospital because this girl who was five foot five versus his six foot five was beating the hell out of him on a weekly basis. He frequently kept telling her that he was not going to let society laugh at him which is why he would not tell anybody. He wouldn't end the relationship because his partner persuaded him that she was seeking help for her anger problems.

My ex told me that she reckoned that there were probably a lot of cases like this, where the older party feels even more ashamed about seeking help simply because people assume that because they have more wealth and are older that they shouldn't be getting abused. And isn't just older men, it's all the women as well, she told me that many older women who have more wealth than their younger male partners come in and offer similar stories.

So, trying to sell the myth that just because somebody has more wealth and power they inevitably are the guilty one is simply dangerous. Wealth and power do not create an abuser it may help an abuser abuse people but an abuser is an abuser whether they have wealth or not.

And abuse exists everywhere, among people with no wealth, among people with lots of wealth in all directions, among people of the same age, with small age gaps, with large age gaps, it exists all over the place.

For example, the age range where the most abuse exists is between 15 and 25, and the vast majority of the perpetrators of that abuse are people aged between 15 and 25. Very few of the people in this age group have wealth.

All in all, trying to in any way imply that somehow we can judge which party is the abuser based on whether they are older, more wealthy, better looking, more intelligent, this, that, whatever, is simply self-defeating and damaging because it makes people less likely to come forward if they don't tick the right box for being a victim.

Any person of any gender of any age of any wealth can be a victim of domestic violence, all they need to do is get with the wrong person. It is as simple as that. Wealth, power, age, they may make a person more able to abuse, but in terms of protecting you from abuse, they can improve your odds but not by as much as people think.

If we are to finally start fighting back against abuse, and actually give ourselves a chance of winning, we need to start properly acknowledging that because perhaps then we will finally be able to acknowledge that anyone can be a victim. Only when we do that do we have a chance of getting everybody on the same page.