I remember a work colleague I knew from years back back, she was married and would frequently tell everyone how her partner was a cheat, she would also tell stories of how she would throw things at him, frequently slap him, punch him, all because in her words he deserved it for having committed some crime.

At the same time, she would take pictures on her phone showing bruising on her arms, which she had got from him trying to physically restrain her from attacking him.

She would tell everyone how if they broke up, she would use it to get a better settlement in the divorce by accusing him of being a violent cheat, with the pictures as evidence. Her brazenness in admitting that he had never been violent towards her because he was a p***y, sticks with me to this day.

Anyhow, the marriage did end and she was true to her word. She accused him of being a violent cheat, but on his side of the story he denied ever having cheated and said that she was always paranoid and frequently accusing him of cheating any time he even spoke to a woman. He also accused her of being the violent one.

He didn't even bother going to court or trying to fight it because he was told with the evidence she had there was no point, so she ended up with a great settlement and full custody of the kids. He could see them one day a week. She then went on to have a relationship with a woman and history repeated itself, she was violent towards her and constantly accused her of cheating. It was only then people started to believe his side of the story.

But then it came out that he had actually been cheating on her, because he had fathered a child while in a relationship with his now ex-wife and had secretly been paying child care for that kid.

This is the thing that has always unnerved me about the modern trend of trial by media. How is anyone supposed to know who to truly believe and what really went on?

I don't know what the solution is, but we need to come up with one as this trial by media is simply disastrous and has disastrous long lasting consequences, because it turns everyone into the guilty. That makes it clear that if you come forwards, male or female, odds are you will be seen as guilty of a crime. Nothing is more disastrous than that.