7 Hilariously Naughty Nun Jokes to Brighten Up Your Day

If you’re looking for a reason to smile, you’ve found the right place

Disclaimer: much naughty and groan-inducing nunnery ahead. You have been warned!

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring, and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers: “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: number one, you have to be single, and number two, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!”

“OK,” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

He does, and the nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a sex worker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” says the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. As they have no overalls, one nun says to the other, “Hey, let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.”

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, “Who is it?”

“Blind man!”

The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, “He’s blind, he can’t see. What could it hurt.” They let him in.

The blind man walks in and says, “Hey, nice tits. Now where do you want me to hang these blinds?”